Today, I shook the hands of a killer.

During his trial, while he was in remand waiting for court to finish up, his defense attorney sent him a box full of documents to review regarding his proceedings. At the bottom of the box, were the diaries written by the women he had killed. Those diaries weren't suppose to be there, but somehow it made its way to him. He began learning about the woman, he had killed, she liked to write poetry, loved her family dearly, had a passion for her friends. Her life, up until this point was foreign to him since they were just acquaintances. Initially, he felt that she was responsible for the rut that he was in, but after gaining insight into her life, he began to understand what he really did, his life took on a new course. He went to his defense lawyers and told them he wanted to plead guilty, drawing a delirious laugh from his lawyer, "Why would you want to do that?"

"I want to be accountable for what I did"

As he began his 15 to life sentence in a maximum security center, he adapted to prison sub-culture mixed with many other prolific violent offenders. He developed friends with other inmates as they found their identity amongst each other. A sequence of events began to lead his life from the label of killer- in which society had placed on him back to just another person- belonging to the community. As a brutal riot broke out in jail one night, he found himself caught in the middle of an altercation. His body laid on the ground with blood seeping through his head, an inmate raised a shank above his body. It was at the moment, he had a glimpse of how his victim truly felt.

He was left with a choice to continue to be another inmate and hate the system for the punishment inflicted on him, or to turn his life around. As he continued to speak about the friendship that he finally began to develop back with his ex-wife and the father-daughter relationship he now has with his teenage daughter, it was evident that he was no longer a "killer" Often, when convicted criminals enter the system they come out worse off and are more likely to re-offend. He however, chose to use the time he spent in jail to turn his life around. He has dreams of coming back into the community to father his daughter, work at an auto shop and maybe even someday be a teacher. A convicted killer was only a label society had put on him. I began to see him beyond his mistake. Today, I shook the hands of a killer.

don't stop



.... brb

fallin'

So many of you know over the past year I had a fall during a pick up hockey game. Little did i know that a multitude of life altering events were to follow what seemed like a harmless game of hockey. Just to give you a more full picture of what went on, I'll begin by walking you through the happenings of that day leading up to the fall.

The day started off as a relatively usual day beginning with classes in the morning and afternoon. I then met up with a couple of friends to do some guitar shopping followed by a unexpectedly hearty meal at White Spot. After dinner I had the opportunity to attend missions fest at the Vancouver Convention Center with an awe inspiring speaker, Tony Campolo. I still vividly remember some of the key points of his sharing that night, but one thing that really spoke to me that night was about the passion of serving God his parents instilled upon him. His parents really wanted him to give his life to ministry, in contrast to the expectations my culture demands which holds a strong emphasis in suceedeing through obtaining well respected jobs such as accountants, pharmacists, and engineers. This point really got me thinking that night. After missions fest, I frantically rushed home to get changed and grabbed my gear for a usual session of late night hockey. This year I was joining a new team so I thought it would be an awesome oppurtunity to make new friends and minister to them in any way I could. Turns out it would be my first and last night of hockey with them.

With the friendly scrimmage nearing its end, I hopped over the bench skating the last few shifts for that night squeezing out the last bit of energy I had. In that shift I was back checking into the neutral zone while another player unknowingly skated behind me. I bumped into him and lost my balance. With my one skate caught behind my other skate, I fell back and my leg got tucked behind my body placing all my weight onto my one leg. I definitely thought I messed it up somehow but breaking it never crossed my mind. I went home that night hoping it was just a bad sprain so I went to bed hoping sleep would cure my pain.....

my foray into blogging

After talking to a few long time friends and a couple of really awesome guys I have come to known over the past little while, I've decided to plunge into the world of blogging. As an average type guy, emotions and inner thoughts are kept to a bare minimal so this is a pretty drastic leap. If you know me well enough, I don't express myself too often and my most commonly used adjectives for describing things consists of "not bad" and "niiice."

Basically, I hope to share on here my current/past life experiences as well as staying connected with people I have met over the years. I've had the oppurtunity to meet some really awesome people who have really encouraged me and made me who I am. However, I haven't been able to keep in touch very well, so hopefully this blog can also keep you updated if you're wondering what I'm up to these days. And most of all, I want to share my experiences of how God's been impacting me in my life.

here goes.......

-phil